how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

[dellearte]

No, this is not a Dr. Strangelove entry. But that was the only title I could think of, for an episode of Mira Has Opinions.

This has been on my mind since yesterday, when I went to Fanime 2012's Kuroshitsuji gathering. There was the usual slew of shots for pairings, households, servants, reapers. Then, someone called out "traps".

Traps in this case meant crossdressers and the like, and though I roll my eyes at the term, I thought the dress!Ciels and Aloises would rush up. They did-and so did nearly all the Grell cosplayers.

What, my brain asked, while I took a deep breath and let people have their fun. It's not my policy to be policing people's opinions, so I didn't say a word. But that was followed by a request that was granted for "correctly gendered cosplayers".

Disregarding the way that statement is phrased, it meant girls cosplaying female characters and boys cosplaying males should go up. I went up, dressed as Grell Sutcliffe, along with one other Grell and the other characters who decided to go up. I'm also cisgender female. The one guy I may have come across as a bit of a bitch to was an Alois who was yelling about Grell being a man, whom I told that just because she has a male body doesn't mean she is less of a woman. Perhaps I should have apologized/should still apologize, but this was the same person who suggested the "correct gender" cosplayers, so forgive me for being a touch...touchy. Ugh. Words are hard.

Normally? I don't give a fuck what pronouns you use for Grell as long as you respect mine. That's been my policy since I switched from masculine to feminine for her. Anyone who's heard me ramble on about fandom and Grell knows that. I've heard all the arguments about Yana meaning to write a really gay man, and hey, maybe I'm going entirely against her intent. But through my western liberal viewpoint, any character that refers to themselves as a woman and says that they want a sex change (even saying that "God made a mistake") is a woman and should be called "she". I explained as much to one cosplayer there who asked why I called Grell "her" and even asked my friend if I explained it right.

As for the differences between anime and manga Grell, which could take up a post of their own? Anime Grell is written much more in line with the stereotypes of a flaming gay man. Manga Grell is written as far more subdued, and in fact makes fewer remarks about Sebastian in the latest arc than she spends time attempting to do her job and beat Undertaker's ass.

I'm not trying to sound preachy. But this wraps around to the idea that there's "correctly gendered cosplayers".

If you are a woman cosplaying Grell, as I do, and you view Grell as a woman, then that's not crossplay, in my opinion. You are not a "trap", you are not crossdressing. (Or you might be, since the butler outfit was a male disguise.) Yes, I need to bind and contour my face for Grell. Yes, I intentionally make myself look masculine. But that is because I am trying to get her look. If I was cosplaying a character who was FTM, and they still had breasts and feminine features, I would go for their look still, but it would be crossplay to me. If you think otherwise? That's your choice, and I won't correct you.

"But Mira, what does this have to do with giving a fuck about pronouns?" Ah, here's today's story. I was browsing confessions, and found a raging argument over Grell's pronouns in a secret relating to her character as interpreted by fandom (and frankly I agreed with it-she's flawed but strong, not some whining Mary Sue). And here comes the ramble's point. If you start getting up in arms over everyone who uses "he", reblogging it and saying HER or editing the post and saying "fixed it"? You'll cause yourself undue stress and come across as batshit. You're as bad as the people who say Grell's a man because Kuroshitsuji is a yaoi. Of course I think education is great, but like fundamentalist protestors and people working for marriage equality, you have to pick and choose your battles. And above all? You need to respect when people have a difference of opinion. That's a concept I think is sorely missing from this fandom, and it's blatantly obvious in ship wars and Grell's gender.

Saying shit like "correctly gendered" falls out of that respect zone, though, and I think it's obvious why.

I hope at least some part of this rant makes sense, I kind of let it tangent all over.